Enabler…Now WHAT? again…

I am addicted to "House", the TV Series about a Doctor who is a genius. Oh well, I am addicted to House, Mentalist, Family Guy, 24, etc. I am a TV-Addict…:)

So, one of the Episodes of House is about this girl who is addicted to Blogging. She is obsessed with Blogging and she blogs about everything that happens in her life. She writes about her Relationship with her Husband, Sex, Fights, everything and anything. She feels that it is easier to express herself to someone she cannot see. It is easy to open up and talk about feelings and thoughts. I kind of agree, any strong reaction from a Stranger (you cannot see) is easier to fathom than someone you know and can see. She is a popular Blogger with lots and lots of followers. She likes the Audience.

Her husband is a simple person. He doesn’t necessarily likes that she talks about their relationship in details on the Blog. He doesn’t agree with the fact that she is telling her followers about him. He says I don’t want you to discuss me and our personal life with people I don’t even know. At several points in that Episode, I thought that if I were the Husband, I would walk out on her. But he doesn’t. He stays. And I kept wondering WHY?

So, she gets really sick. She has a decision to make about something that will affect her relationship with her Husband. She blogs about it and says that she cannot let her Followers down. She will have to ask them and make a decision. The Husband is a little frustrated, he says, it all started like a fun thing. Blogging was like Free Therapy. But not anymore. He thinks that she is addicted to the Audience and popularity. He still doesn’t leave her. The decision would affect their Future, but he still stays by her side. Again, I wonder WHY?

Finally, in the very last scene of this episode, they show that it was a minor problem and she will live. She makes the decision based on what she feels is right for her and her husband. All is Well. Suddenly, the Husband hands her the Computer and says, I know you will go crazy if you don’t write about all this. And she says, Thank God you are an Enabler…seriously…now WHAT? again…What does "Enabler" mean? A person who is too good to be real? A person who is capable of truly accepting everyone as they are? It is a good concept to talk about…but actually living and practicing it..I don’t know about that.

ENABLER…hmmm…interesting. It got me thinking and I wondered if I am an Enabler? That should be a Gautam Question. He will know the best. But digging a little deeper, I realized…I am an Enabler with quotes (""). I am a "Selective" Enabler. I let my partner be what he wants to be with some Rules. I am selective in my approach. I get to decide how I wan to enable him based on how I feel. Say, for instance, sharing things about our relationship with anyone other than the 2 of us. He cannot share it with people I don’t like. My Ego is too big. I don’t want to ever be weak in front of people I dislike. What is Enabling, letting Gautam do what he wants, the way he wants it? Or letting him do what he wants but not exactly the way he wants it? There is a very convenient definition of Enabling. I always let you do whatever you want, the least you can do is…do that whatever according to my Rules. The Enabling I know, is to make people feel obligated, so things happen to them but according to your terms.

Is it right? I don’t know. Do I want to change it? I surely do. We all like to use big words and talk about philosophy and a perfect life, but do we really practice what we talk about? Not all the time.

In fact, the more I think about all this, the more I wonder. Do I Enable myself? Maybe not. I have all these boundaries for myself. I don’t know who I am. I have never known. I don’t think I will ever know or anyone else would ever know. The first step to Enable self would be to be an Enabler. Actions speak better than words….so, talking and writing about all this is much easier than actually implementing it. The key probably is to not make it about self. Enabling is about just letting it be without getting personal.

Oh, the best way to do this is by "ENABLING the ENABLER" !!